Saturday, September 24, 2005

New Ideas

Day in and day out I spend numerous hours pondering existance. Not just mine, but yours as well as everything else that I know. There countless questions that run through my mind. Questions which I have no answers to. And I'm not even sure that they can be answered, in this realm anyway. I know that most people claim to have some sort of "knowing". They know what God is. They know what life means. They know this and they know that. All I hear is blah, blah, blah. (By the way, I can be a smartass at times) I am just as open to the truth as the next person, but I have god or angelic being coming to give me the secrets of the Universe. I mean, how can anyone be so absolutely, positively sure of anything? That seems kind of naive to me. With so many out there claiming to have the right answers as opposed to those other people. Does this make any sense? You have Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, and tons more. They all believe that they know the truth. And within these belief systems.........shhh!! each individual probably has their own ideas that stray from that of their organized system.

I'm not gonna sit here on my high horse, and yes it is high, and say that I've never had an idea of the way things are. Hell, if I never had those ideas I would have never progressed to newer and more refined. I say ideas because there is room for change in an idea. If I walk around saying "I believe this", well, beliefs are harder to change. I've come to the place in my life where I am learning to accept everyones "ideas" as worthwhile. At one time I wouldn't have. I went through my atheist stage, as well as my christian stage, and my muslim stage, and my hindu stage. And during each one of these phases I would have claimed to know the truth. "Come along and follow me", I would have told you. It seemed as if I NEEDED soemthing to believe in. I was going to be lost if I didn't have something to dedicate my faith to. And let me tell you, this caused many hours of depression and despair. I cursed God, my parents, the world, governments, and myself. Boy, I was lost. Lost when I had thought I found the truth.

Nowadays, I claim to know absolutely nothing. I have ideas which can change on a whim, but nothing in concrete. I accept what you believe and the ideas that someone else may have. This is what I do believe; all roads will lead to truth. Some easier and more direct than others. Some may take a little longer. But the fact of the matter is, we all seek the truth. In seeking the truth I ask many, many questions. Sometimes I can talk myself in circles, and get lost. But eventually I find my way back to the path and walk upright once again. I probably wouldn't suggest my path to anyone. Do what works for you. I think sometimes I cause myself unnecssary turmoil, but I'm learning not to fear life. How can one live if they walk in fear most of the time. Let me tell you, that isn't living. Walking in fear is dying. It drains you of every ounce of mental and physical energy a person has. Somehow, though, I think the only way to live is to first die. I won't go into explanation, anyone that has made it this far does not need mine.

I ask of you and anyone else; let us seek the truth. Formulate our own ideas and share them with eachother. Let go of the fear and live!! We're all in this together. When one of us finds the absolute truth we will all prosper. Until that point why not assist eachother rather than make it harder. You can't win a battle by defeating your own team. You get the point.

Well, this is my new blog!! A more positive track. I think I need one. The other two will remain because those are also a part of who I am. This is what I want to become. I thank anyone that is willing to walk this road with me. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and ideas. Thanks for just being, whoever you may be. The world probably wouldn't be the same without your existance. For now I must rest. Until next time.........