That's what this is all about. This blog, this life, the whole world. I forget this most of the time, but this is the only thing that I know to be true. We are here to learn and experience, the so called good and the bad. But how might I get anything out of it when I'm in constant fear of the unknown? I look forward to learning and experiencing new things. But for some reason when things get a little chaotic, or peacful for that matter, that goes right out the window. It's like everything that's real inside this human form shuts down or is blocked off and I immediately revert back to instinct. Instinct can be a tricky thing. It's good when you need to survive, but beyond that it only causes problems.
Usually the chaos is not the problem, it's the peace. I, my body, does not know how to react to quiet. Every waking moment we are taking in all kinds of stimulation, whether it be noise, touch, or sight. Thoughts constantly running through our heads. When that peace and quiet does come it's like somebody just dropped a fucking atom bomb. Now my life is in chaos. The noise our minds create is suddenly like a child that won't go to bed. Have you ever sat in another room after putting down a child that does not want to go to bed? Experience this and you will know what I mean.
I know that I'm not the only one that goes through this. I can't be, or I wouldn't be normal. The human condition may affect us all in different ways but it's playing the same game with every one of us. I truly envy those that have gotten past this. Those that have complete control of mind and body. My question to them is: is this a personal journey, or is it something that can be taught to me? Honestly, I have read countless books and while I've gained knowledge of the world around me, I have gotten no further to reaching this rnlightenment. I read everything I can get my hands on. I listen to everyone and everything I come across. I am eager to learn, ready to experience life. But where's my teacher? Who is going to help me down this road? I'll wait, and do what I can to maintain until this person comes. In fact I'll do my best to progress along the path while waiting for a teacher. I tend to think that we can't do things on our own. We need help. This blog is just another avenue of exploration, and has worked thus far. I can say that is has been enlightening as the present always is if I choose to observe. Until next time..........